Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Sometimes I am an Idiot

Sometimes I make poor decisions. Usually it is something rather silly like eating too much ice cream or not stretching out my back when it is sore. Usually my bad decisions aren’t life-altering, just a little bit obnoxious, but almost always they are avoidable and I find myself screaming “YOU’RE AN IDIOT!” over and over again in my head. Yesterday I made one of these decisions.

We got all of our packages shipped to my office so that we don’t have boxes sitting on our porch all day long, exposed to sun, rain, cold temperatures, and any sketchy passers-by who may get the nerve to swipe the box off of our front stoop. Yesterday I got ready to head to my car, and grabbed my small Crate & Barrel box to head out to my car. As I was walking out, a big brown box caught my eye… mostly because of the very familiar hand-writing on top. It was from Dad! Now usually if I have 2 boxes, or even one big box, to carry to my car I would walk up to my car, drive back down to the office, park in the temporary loading parking spots, pack up the boxes, and then drive home. For some reason, perhaps Christmas excitement or the euphoria of finally being off of work for the day after a 10 hour shift, I decided I could carry both boxes.

Both boxes with a lunch box. And a purse.

Block 1: I’m cold… thankful I wore a scarf. Wishing I had my gloves (the one day I didn’t bring them).

Block 2: This box is getting heavy, but it is completely manageable.

Block 3/Pedestrian crosswalk: Normally I have to stand and wait for a couple of minutes waiting for cars to stop and acknowledge my presence to let me pass on the crosswalk. Not this time… cars came screeching to a stop to let me pass. I guess I looked a bit like a pathetic pack mule in cute shoes.

Block 4: I realize that the box on top is in fact barely balancing and sliding around on the bottom box- it is not very secure. I try to lodge it under my chin, but it makes me look more pathetic. I decide to continue to test my balancing skills learned from carrying plates at The Peddler in college.

Block 5: My lunch box starts slipping out of my hand. I make up my mind that if it comes to a choice between the packages and my blue lunch box from 4th grade I would have to make a sacrifice. Ross has been telling me it is time to buy a “big girl lunch box” afterall.

Block 6: I am starting to sweat... no longer acknowledging the cold air surrounding me. I start to regret my choice of natural deodorant that may or may not be made to hold up to box-carrying idiocy.

Block 7 – 8: I start passing people on the sidewalk. They try not to stare as I struggle. I don’t blame them for not offering to help. I can only imagine the weird expression on my face. I start yelling "You're an IDIOT for thinking you can carry all of this!" in my head. I make sure I am not yelling out... that would be embarassing.

Block 9: I have to cross another street. This time there isn’t a crosswalk, so I am forced to wait. The first car approaching me shines the headlights on me and slams the breaks. I decide I need to start walking to my car with boxes more often if I am going to get special street-crossing priveledges.

Block 10: I can see my car. I am almost there. My lunch box is hanging on by my pinky finger.

I get to my car and my arms are shaking from the weight and awkwardness of balancing the boxes. I head home. Ross and I open the boxes. IT’S CHRISTMAS! Presents and more ornaments, which means I got to decorate the tree AGAIN! And Ross got to witness me unwrap each ornament in a very OCD fashion and re-fold the packing paper to put back in the individual boxes. He looks at me like I am an alien.

Updated tree photo…. And Santa came early! (Thanks Dad!)

2 weeks from today we will be waking up in NC!

P.S. Ross told me that my posts are more interesting with more pictures. I will try to add more.

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